Childrenisms

We tried out a new park this week, but poor Robbie was horrified when he saw a bunch of bees flying around, and then going into a hole in the equipment. He looks at me completely disgusted and says, "Mommy, why did Jesus make bees!!"

R: What's this, Mommy?
K: It's a nail file, but it also gets dirt from under your nails.
R: Will you show me?
I show him on me.
R: Can you do it to me?
I look. Miraculously the child has clean nails.
K: Robbie, your nails are clean.
R: Oh.
Two minutes later I see him crouched on the floor by our plants. He is shoveling dirt under his toenails.

Robbie loves watching me put on my make-up. The other day I found out why.
R: Mommy, I know why you put on make-up.
K: Oh yeah? Why?
R: So you can make your skin look brown like a black person.
Nice.

The animals involved fluctuate, but the game is always the same--wrestling. This is what happened yesterday.
R: Mommy, do you want to play mean dogs?
K: Sure.
R. Okay, I'm the big daddy one. You're just the baby.
I nod. I'm always the weakling. We start "fighting" and when the "baby" one gets a little two rough, Robbie has to remind me that he's supposed to win.
R. No, Mom. My claws are as sharp as tigers' teeth. You're dead.
Of course. Ty wants in, too, though.
K: Do you want to play?
T: Uh huh.
K: What animal do you want to be?
T: Owl.
K: Are you sure? An owl? Why don't you pick something else, okay?
T: Too-dow (turtle--he loves them because they "wim" or swim).
I laugh.
K: Okay.
We all get ready. Ty decides he's gonna take us all on, though, as a turtle. He crouches down and glares at me.
T: ROAR!!!!
I love little moments like this.