Peace Amid the Storm

My tears are pretty much dried. And even then, I have felt peace during this entire experience. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves me and knows me; I am grateful that I can feel peace and comfort, even in the worst of storms. My trials keep coming, but I feel strong enough to endure this time--I feel as though I have been waxed with each experience so I would have enough faith and courage to face this one--the biggest of all . . . the one that hurts my baby.

The story is long and short at the same time. Jimmy had a fever. 102.7 Monday night. No big deal. Still, I felt worried and woke up Rob to give him a blessing. Next day I took him in to the doctor (uncharacteristic of me). His lymph nodes were swollen, his ears looked great, nothing in his chest . . . except the weird lump below his right rib. I asked the doctor to look at it. She thought it was nothing. She did a strep test to maybe make reason of the fever. Negative. I went home.

That night his fever peaked at 105.5. I rushed to the ER in Blue Springs. They did a chest x-ray and one of his abdomen (since I insisted that they make sense of that weird muscle spot on his abdomen. I had felt it for months--prodded Rob about it, and finally just decided he had a stool and was just fat. Still, tonight I wanted answers. Was it appendicitis?) The ER decided he had pneumonia. Gave him a shot. Wrote a prescription. Done. I wasn't satisfied for some reason.

Next day I went to my pediatrician (my real one--not the fill in I had the day before) for a follow up of the ER visit. I prayed that he would be inspired. I was given a new prescription for pneumonia and about to be let out, when I asked him to check the mass. "Is it a stool? A hernia? His appendix?" I asked. My sweet doctor's eyes welled with tears as he reached in to hug me--never a good sign. "Kyrsten, that's a tumor. You need to take him in right now."

 Calm. I was still calm. I cried when I went to the car. I left my boys at my friend Caetie's house, called Rob and told him to leave work and meet me at the hospital since I didn't know if I had the strength to do this without him. (My grandpa had just been put on a ventilator after a colon cancer surgery gone bad--it was too much at once.) After tons of urine and blood samples, x-rays, ultrasounds, and CTs, we learned that my sweet Jimmy, only 14 months old, had a large tumor (8 cm x 8 cm x 14 cm) coming from his right kidney. Both would have to be removed. We are praying it is benign.

We've been transferred to Children's Mercy Hospital where all the physicians and surgeons have done extra fellowships in pediatrics. We've been blessed with amazing staff--the surgery and oncology teams are competent. Jimmy's fevers are still an enigma. His CT of chest showed it was clear. He never had pneumonia. His blood tests show no bacterial infections. We now think it is from the tumor itself. His surgery has been postponed until Wednesday. Our prayers are constant. We worry and have our moments of fear, but I have felt overwhelming comfort. I am so grateful for the sweet concern and blessings of others and the faith and prayers that have been issued in our behalf.

Our sweet baby is doing better and acting more like himself. They took him off his IV and all those electrodes so he can walk around and be a little boy again. Today he even started fighting with Ty again--I couldn't have been more pleased! My brother Johnny came out to help with the kids for a few days, and Rob's mom is coming out next. We have a fabulous support system.

There is a wonderful playroom for the kids and their siblings--Robbie and Ty love it! There are video games and a basketball hoop--they couldn't be happier!

Jimmy started wondering the halls a little--all the nurses think it's the cutest thing ever. I think he's trying to find an escape route, but it keeps him busy!

We've had an outpouring of calls, and visits. These beautiful flowers and teddy and balloon were a gift from the residents at Rob's program. They all pooled their limited funds together to get this; it meant so much.

Our pediatrician drove all the way down to visit us and bring us flowers and some presents for Jimmy. Such genuine people here. I am so blessed.

The boys remain pretty unfazed so far. They love coming to see Jimmy because they have the playroom and all the treats they want--plus a million kid movies they can rent. Plus all the nurses Ooh and Ahh over them--that's always fun, right? I am so grateful that they are strong little men who know how to deal with trail themselves. They are great examples to Jimmy.